Chronic Pain of sorts

When the best just gets to you

I decided to open  up a blog strictly for chronic pain, yes, I have fibromyalgia, but there are many of us that have pain due to other chronic pain like lupus or restless legs syndrome, which RLS is included on my list unfortunately as well as insomnia and copd. I was diagnosed with the restless legs syndrome when I was a kid, back then my mom would just think I was hyper active kid and tried her own remedies that instead of help I kind of felt like the black sheep of my own litter...since I have no siblings, a father I have not seen in 14 years, and since most stress starts at a young age since I learned from doctor after doctor, I have developed a few illnesses due to my own doings. Does this make any sense?? Some of it yes, but there are things out of my control when I was younger that well, when you have a mom or someone in your life that yells, or ignores, or even its non-intentional, the feelings and emotions I went through really dampened my child hood....so back in the 70's when I was a kid, there were just things I got to see and learened as patterns that I grew up with....though my mom divorced my dad at a very young age, there we go with anger and resentment throughout my teen years which also helped my own doings for many things I probably should of left alone. Have you ever been that teenager that is just pissed off and I mean not just at any person or place, but angry in general ???? That was me pretty much. Angry, depressed, resentful and all in my own head... for the most part. I drank a lot and did a lot of drugs in such a long period of my life that I developed now that I am older a part of me that I now just say is a gift. A gift of the good Lord above because I am not a bad person, I learned behavior and acted on my behaviors with a pattern in life, shared that pattern with my kids and everyone else that crossed my path, but because now that I am older, learning these past 14 years of sobriety how to live a better life has come true, the only difference is that I am not resentful anymore. Frustrated over the pain I persistently have, but angry free and resentful free....totally much better. Humility is something I did not learn very well, but with the stubborn part of my life, learning new and wonderful things in today's life isn't all cherries and cream with cake, there are many moments, but these moments are okay...learning experiences, things that I know that there is either a solution to or just something I can carry on and share with others... that is about it for now... I rambled a bit, but then again, sometimes its good to do that too. Wishing all a pain free day to everyone....no matter what kind of pain it is, take a deep breath and know within it will be okay.